Actor opens up about the death of her director husband Jeff Baena, referring to her grief as ‘a giant ocean of awfulness’

Hollywood star Aubrey Plaza has spoken publicly for the first time about the devastating loss of her husband, filmmaker Jeff Baena, who died by suicide in January at just 47 years old.

The White Lotus and Parks and Recreation actress opened up during a heartfelt conversation with Amy Poehler on her podcast Good Hang. When Poehler gently asked how she was coping after what she called “a terrible, terrible, tragic year,” Plaza’s voice carried both strength and sorrow.

“Right in this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you,” Plaza shared. “Overall, I’m here and I’m functioning. I feel really grateful to be moving through the world. I think I’m OK, but it’s like a daily struggle, obviously.”

Baena, who directed Plaza in the dark comedies Life After Beth and The Little Hours, was found dead in his Los Angeles home earlier this year. In a joint statement at the time, Plaza and his family called the sudden loss “an unimaginable tragedy.”

Now, months later, Plaza’s raw words reveal the ongoing battle of living with grief while trying to move forward.

In her conversation with Amy Poehler, Plaza reached for an unusual metaphor to capture the weight of her grief. Drawing on the Apple sci-fi horror film The Gorge, she admitted it was “a really dumb analogy,” but one that resonated deeply with her.

“It’s like an alien movie with Miles Teller,” she explained. “In the film, there’s a cliff on one side and a cliff on the other, with a gorge in between filled with all these monster people. And when I watched it, I thought: that’s what this feels like. That’s what my grief is like—or what grief could be like. At all times, there’s this giant ocean of awfulness right there. I can see it. Sometimes I want to dive into it, sometimes I just stare at it, and other times I run from it. But it’s always there. And the monster people? They’re always coming for me—like Miles Teller.”

Plaza and Baena first met in 2011 and married a decade later in 2021. His death earlier this year stunned Hollywood. In his Guardian obituary, critic Ryan Gilbey praised Baena’s “enjoyably twisted” body of work, which included Life After Beth and The Little Hours. He also co-wrote I Heart Huckabees with David O. Russell, and his final feature was the biting comedy Spin Me Round, starring Plaza alongside Alison Brie.

As for Plaza, her own career shows no signs of slowing down. Known for acclaimed performances in Ingrid Goes West and Emily the Criminal, she will next appear in Ethan Coen’s upcoming comedy Honey Don’t.